I Love Them

I Did Not Like LOST

It's depressing. All those years, and that is how they wrapped it up? Blah.

LOST in Love

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow is the day in which my life will change forever. Tomorrow is the final episode of LOST.

I am so thrilled that I can barely stand it. I am finally going to get an explanation to questions, mysteries, and flat out confusing scenarios. I will finally find out what the hell is going on! I have very little idea what is actually happening on a show I have watched for six years. That's a hard thing to do, keep all your viewers guessing. And I can't wait to find out how wrong I am in all my theories, as all but one so far has been disproved.

I am so super bananapants excited. The viewing and celebration shall start tomorrow at Travis and Jacob's at 5:30. It will extend well into the evening. There will be food, drink, and probably lots of talking and rewinding.

The only problem I have is what am I going to do next? When The Sopranos ended, I still had LOST. When this ends, I got nothing. What am I going to do with my Tuesday evenings? I will be wayward and without an obsession. But, I do not mind because finally I will be able to understand what the hell is going on!

The Shoe is NOT on the Other Foot

I saw a shoe, today, in the middle of the road. Just one shoe. One lone tennis shoe.

Every time I see a lone shoe or boot or flip flop (never a high heel) on the road, I wonder how it got there. Did it fall out of a car or off the back of a truck? Did someone get run over, and the police forgot to grab that shoe? Did it just fall off someone's foot, and somehow they didn't notice? Did some meanie take someone's shoe and throw it in the road?

I know you people (Mandy and Tammy and occasionally Diana) have had to have seen this. I am very curious as to how they got there. I think if I were psychic, I would use my power to find out what happened to the foot that belonged in that shoe. Hopefully, it wouldn't still be in the shoe itself.

Is This Wrong?

Everyday at work I use the handicap button on the main entrance to get into my building. I never just open the door myself. I always press the handicap button. I do it when I leave, as well. I do say "Thank you, Sir" when I walk through. I mean, if someone is opening the door for me (i.e. the handicap symbol), I like to thank them. But, is that just wrong?

Just One of the Reasons I Hate Apartments!

Neighbors are too damn close!

Okay, just tell me if this is weird. We have new neighbors. They have been there a month. They are a bunch of young girls and their boyfriends. No big deal. I don't know their names. We have never been introduced. The only thing I know about them is that they go in and out about 32 times a day, and they love to play Guitar Hero very loudly. That's fine. They couldn't be more than 20, so that's fine.

Today, one of the girls knocked on the door. Now, I was asleep, but Jody was awake. As any normal person would do, he ignored it. He knew it was the neighbor and the last time he answered for them we had to give them sugar and eggs. Again, no biggie, but he just didn't feel like dealing with her. So, he ignored it.

Well, that wasn't good enough. She decided to knock louder. The dogs are going nuts. I wake up (though I didn't move). He answers the door. And our dear sweet neighbor who we don't know in any asks to borrow our vacuum cleaner.

What? Really? You ask someone you do not know to borrow their vacuum cleaner. Now, I don't know if I am weird or assholey or what, but doesn't that seem like an odd or maybe even inappropriate thing to ask a neighbor for? I mean, if you know you neighbor, fine. I used to bum my friends Jason and Zack's vacuum, but we hung out every day for four years! We have no idea who you are except the girl who takes 7 out of the 10 parking spaces allotted to our building. What kinda stupid question is that?

Of course, Jody says no. He tells her it is broken. She then goes on about how hers broke and put piles of dirt all over the floor. Yep, well, ours is still "broken."

Maybe I am not very neighborly. Maybe I am just a dick. But, why in the world would I let a stranger borrow my vacuum cleaner? It almost seems gross.

I can't wait to move!

What the Poopshoot is Wrong with me?

Since I graduated with my masters in Creative Writing (well, English with a concentration in creative writing), I haven't written a word. Not a single word. Well, sure, there is the occasional blog and the usual witty facebook status update. But, creatively, I ain't done squat.

My warning...Before you study something you love, make sure you love it enough to not get burned out (burnt out?) after doing it constantly for a couple of years.

Ugh.

Conway Twitty can be Awful Creepy

Day, day, day. I slept really late through lots of rain. Enchiladas y Mas with a friend. Hanging out and watching Wife Swap and Hee Haw with Jody and another friend. A lovely evening breakfast from Sonic. Home for some Mystery Science Theater and hunka hunka burning love Jody. Now, up too late watching TMZ and annoying my sleeping dogs. All in all, a pretty great day.

Bak, Bak, Baaaagak!

Tonight, as most nights, the Jodster and I hung out over at Trav and Jacob's. And, as per our usual, we played a game (because that is the kind of dork group we are). Tonight we played a game that I have heard of but never played. It is Chickenfoot. And, oh my gosh it is fun!

So, when Jody and I were out in the cabin in the woods, I think this was part of the domino game we couldn't figure out. I sure wish we had because it is damn fun. Sure, it took us like 2 hours, but it was so worth it. It was super ass fun. It is totally going on the Catan, Clue, Mall Madness, Monopoly side of the game table. I can't wait to play again. I didn't win, but it was still fun. And I am a sore loser!

So, anytime anyone wants to play Chickenfoot (the game, not the crappy band) give me a call! I shall chickenfoot it whilst making the most fabulous chicken noises! Hurray!

By the way, if anyone knows what this Mexican Train game that accompanies it is, let me know. Sure we could read the directions, but who wants to do that. I truly don't want to ruin the image in my head of what I believe a Mexican train is...I'm such a perv!

Back in the Saddle Again

So, it seems I have done gone and got old or something. Like that? That's my Channelview grammar.

Anyway, I feel like I am old, to say the least. Let me tell you why.

Friday before last, Jody had a show at Trophy's. He played his little heart out. And being the doting band girlfriend, I went along, as did Trav and Jacob. Now, being that I am seeing a band in a bar, I had to look my hoochiest. Well, not my hoochiest, but hoochie enough. So, I wore a new bra that put my boobs right up under my head and a new pair of motorcycle boots that have a bit of a heel. Now, mind you, this isn't the highest heels I have. And they are certainly not the highest heels I have ever worn to see my fellow beat on some drums. So, I stood there on my boots with my boobs up where they were when I was 15. It was fun. I screamed, I clapped, I hooted.

Now skip to the next morning or actually afternoon. I wake up, but I can't move. Like at all. Pain is shooting through my back. I truly think I am dying. Now, let me let you in on something here...I am a stubborn mule. I try not to ask for help. I think I could be in a car, upside down in a river, and it would take me a while to call 911 just because I don't want to be a bother. Really, I am like that. Anyway, I can't freaking move.

Now, I have to pee like a son of a bitch because I just woke up. So, I kind of roll my way off the bed, and I use the hamper for a makeshift walker. Poor hamper. But, I get to the bathroom, and then I can't get off the toilet. At this point I holler for Jody. It was so bad. It was so bad that I immediately called in for work. And I am not a call in for worker. Really, I'm not.

I have a terrible back ache for a few days. Then I wake up one morning a couple of days later, Jody stretches out my legs, and I feel fine! It ruled. So, I go about my day, do a dance of joy, wiggle around, act like a tard, and guess what? I suddenly can't move again. Oh, what a fool I am.

So, it isn't going away, and I am dying in pain. So last Friday, a whole week later, I make a doctor's appointment. Now, if you think I am stubborn with asking for help, I am equally as stubborn about going to the doctor. I don't know why I am like this, but I am. It's stupid, and I know it. So, I broke down and went.

Well, it turns out I have pulled a muscle in my lower back! Hurray! And, the doctor can actually tell when he bends me all up and presses on things. So, he tells me to just lay down for a few days, take my muscle relaxers he gave me, and not do anything.

Now, it was mother's day weekend. And my mom and sister were coming down (we had lots of fun, by the way. I'll tell you more about that later.). I could take it easy. I could lay down for a few days! And I certainly didn't have the 12 hours the doctor told me I would need if I took a muscle relaxer. I still haven't had time to lay down for even half a day. Hell, I only get about 11 hours between work shifts, if I'm lucky. And I had a busy weekend. My plan is to chill tomorrow and Thursday. Maybe. I have a hard time sitting still. I don't know why, but I do.

But, I am feeling better, although I haven't done much to help the situation. In the last 4 days I did take 1 muscle relaxer which truly helped. So, I shall take one this morning, and sleep my brains out. And hopefully, this death back ache will go away. And maybe I will stop being stubborn. Probably not, but maybe!

Is this what getting old is? If so, I don't like it one bit. Ugh. I swear. This ain't cool!

Yacht Rock Me, Amadeus!

Yacht Rock 12 is out! And is it the end, or is it the beginning?



For those not in the know, Yacht Rock is the greatest series of shorts ever created by man. They are all about the smooth music of the 70's created by Loggins, McDonald, Cross, Hall and Oates, etc. This music is so smooth, it is called Yacht Rock. I highly suggest you start at #1 and work you way to #12 (although, you can skip the Jethro Tull one. One, it's kinda boring. And two, it's about Jethro Tull. Yuck.)

Believe me, if you venture into the smooth seas of Yacht Rock, you will not be disappointed. Well, unless you don't have my same sense of humor. Then you might be. But, it's fucking awesome, so I don't know how you can be! So, get your dick out of your heart, and watch it!

By the way, if you type Yacht Rock into youtube, the suggestion of History of the Third Reich comes up. I find that odd.

I Ain't Got No Germy Hands!

Today the Jodster and I were treated to a fine meal at the Mighty Fine by David and Steve, two of the funnest people ever. I had never been there. It was pretty good. I got the "salad sandwich" with cheese. That's just a cheeseburger without meat. I got some crinkle cut fries and a coke. It was Mighty Fine, if I do say so myself.

Now, the best part of this meal was the hand washing station in the dining room. It was like a water massage for your arms! It was incredible!

You stick your arms in, it shoots water out on you, and you can keep your arms in there for as long as you want! Then, you get a sticker! It's awesome. I highly recommend going for the hand wash. Did I mention the free stickers? They say "I have clean hands!"

This place is pretty tasty. But, you must go for the arm water massage and stickers! It's a must!

By the way, Party Down in the funniest show on TV. Don't trust me, trust the laughter that will come flowing out of your mouth involuntarily when you watch it. I'm just saying.

Let's Bowl!

It seems I have gone uberly boring. Or else, I have forgotten how to type and use my brain at the same time. Either way, I think Farmville has sucked the life out of my blog. So, I must go forth and write about my exciting life before I forget I have one.

Not much been going on here in the land of the ATX (I hate when people use ATX). Saw Jody play a few times. Worked a whole buttload. Watched some incredibly dull movies. Watch out for The Lovely Bones. It's a piece of wrinkly butt.

Nothing new going on at all. I threw out my back. Seems a new bra with your boobs hiked up to your chin couple with new slightly heeled motorcycle boots will throw off your stance whilst you stand watching your hot piece of man meat beat on some drums.

It seems I am getting too fat and too old to look all hoochie like at a bar and come away unscathed. Oh 34, how I love you so! That caused me to spend a butt numbing day in bed hopped up on a borrowed hydrocodone and watching hour after hour of Rick Bayless teaching me how to make Mexican food. The fact that he over pronounced all the Spanish words got old after a while. I mean, come on, Rick! Do yo have to say EnCHEEEEEELATHA? Can't you just say enchilada. You are a white person from Chicago. And if you keep sounding that authentically Mexican, an Arizonian police person might pop out of nowhere and send you packing! And, I guess chorizo and jalapenos aren't available to everyone at the HEB. But, are they really that rare to find outside of the southwest?

Well, boobs to Rick Bayless. At least it isn't Rick Steves! His show is "Europe through the Back Door. I don't think it takes me to give you a joke to insert there. I mean, how can the title alone not just crack a smile. Come on, you're laughing! You know you are!

Good lord, what a dork. I am showing here that I have no cable. Man, does that make me lame? I am sure it does. But, I have internet. Who needs cable when you can watch everything online? Of course, I would love cable. I would love a DVR. But, I think we are doing just fine with the online. (Can I get my balls mailed to me on the online? Inside joke).

Well, there you have it. Random thoughts about absolutely nothing. Good Lord! What has become of my mush brain? I think I am going to quit now. They are weighing people on Dr. Oz. And that's way more important than thinking!

Good morning, one and all!