I Got So Much!

And I got no time! I will fill the probably completely empty world to which I type (except you, Mandy. You read this!) in sometime today. I had a great week away!

I am a super slueth

Played Clue last night. I won! Miss Scarlett in the Library with the knife. Poirot move the hell over. I am a detective genius!

I am Jig Saw Puzzle Whore!

I have become obsessed with doing jigsaw puzzles online. I don't know that I have done an actual jigsaw puzzle since Matagorda 2005 when I was belligerent out of my mind and thought doing a 2-sided Beatles Yellow Submarine jigsaw puzzle was the most important thing in the world. Before that incident, I have no idea when the last time I did a jigsaw puzzle. So, I have no idea why I am all up in the jigsaw puzzle mix.

I have found the website jigzone that is so much fun! I find the title to be quite odd and off-putting. The website, though, is awesome. It has a trillion pictures with a trillion different ways to break it up. Classic, triangles, stars. You get the idea. I am digging it. It's pretty sad. But, it is a lot of fun.

Nothing too exciting going on. I get to meet Jody's family this weekend. I am super excited. You would think after almost 2 1/2 years, I would have met them already. But, I haven't. So, I am super excited! I am kinda nervous. I sure hope they like me. I am sure they will. I am super awesome, nice, funny, cute, hilarious, the life of the party, totally not at conceited, have uber high self esteem. Hahah! Sorry. I had to be an idiot. But, I am sure after the last one, they will love me! I sure hope so!

A work friend gave me a typewriter yesterday! I am so excited. I need to get some damn paper. But, I was so excited. I love typewriters. I guess my love of words comes across to others. I was thrilled. It is a super cool thing to have. And I appreciate her thinking of me. Now, when I write the great American pornographic novel, I can do so just like Hemingway or Steinbeck!

All in all, a normal week. I'm sleepy. I ate too many nutty bars. I watched too many episodes of Supernanny on Youtube. But, all in all, not a suck ass week!

No!

I got jury duty. What the shit is that? Ugh!

One Day I will Grow Up!

I don't feel like talking about anything to do with water. So, I will do that later. But, we do have it. The leak is fixed. We got to catch a glimpse of the guy's apartment where it started. He wasn't home when it flooded, came home, saw the mess, and left. Didn't tell anyone. Just left. Then it started again. Anyway, it was wet as a mother fucker in his apartment. Not so much wet as just filled with water. Ha ha. Idiot! Anyway, I am sick of water.

So, lately I have been doing a little comparison watching. As you know, I love The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I think it is awesome. Now, I don't think it is awesome in an actual good kind of a way. There are some very good shows out there.
The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Roseanne(yes, Roseanne), Deadwood. Good TV.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager is not one of those shows. But, I love it. I do. It is like sno-cone syrup covered crack. It's a total soap opera. Now, I hate the main character. I hate her. She is a super duper spoiled bitch who deserves to have her child taken away. Also, she isn't really pulling off teen mom.

I think the main story line is ridiculous! Ridiculous! If you want to know the main characters story, it is this: a guy is dating a 15 year old who has a baby by another guy. He wants to break up with her because he doesn't like her anymore. But, his father thinks he should stick with her because that is what people in love do. Sure, a 15 year old should stay with another 15 year old who has another guys baby. Especially because he doesn't love or really like her anymore. Good story, huh?

There are all kinds of story lines. Slutty girl who wants Daddy's love, accidentally pregnant mom, Christian who loves doing it and thinks because of that her father died, molested teen boy trying to make good...you know, the norm. Also, these kids don't seem to have a dress code at school. Had my school not had a dress code, I think I would have been way more popular.

Anyway, it's a crap show. For real! But, I love it. I have no idea if it is good for teens because I am an old fucker. But, maybe it is. I love it, but realize that it is true junk.

Now, we had a teenager show when I was a teenager. It was My So-Called Life. I loved it. Loved it! I thought it was truly written for me and about me and whatever else you can think of.

Well, HULU has all of My So-Called Life online. So, I decide to start watching it to see if was actually good or just a The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I mean, it has been a whole long time since I watched My So-Called Life-probably 13 or 14 years. So, I decided to see.

Well, I have to report that My So-Called Life is actually a good show. Very good. Very well-written. I think it covers all the aspects of the life of teenagers in a way that isn't ridiculous drivel. I mean, there was sex and love and relationships done in a way that I truly think understood what it was like to be 15. I also think it fascinating to see that I understand the adults of the show. Yet, I can still see the teenage aspect.

I am almost done with the season. I wonder if they actually did research with teenagers for this show. It's pretty introspective. I don't think it makes fun of teenage angst. I mean, there is a lot to make fun of there. Of course, there is also a lot that shouldn't be. Teens are so dramatic. But, again, it is the first experience at real life which is full of misery, disappointment, random emotions, and what not. I don't want to be all deep, but I re-watching it really makes me appreciate the writing and respect they actually gave to kids. That is something that isn't done very often. I don't think it is always something deserved. But, it is in some ways.

So, there is my thing. The Secret Life of the American Teenager is very hokey, yet super fun to watch. My So-Called Life is pretty true to life and isn't preachy. One makes me roll my eyes, and the other makes me cry. I love doing both things, so I will continue to watch!

Okay, enough of this goofy blog. I have no idea why I am debating the fine art of teenage entertainment, but being as I am a girl (okay, maybe woman) I love this kind of thing. Forgive me. It's my estrogen and eternal want to be 17 years old.

So that's that! I think I shall go wash dishes now. I am so glad I can!

My Name Ain't Ariel!

Oh, the water! Yes, the water. The Great Flood has happened, and it is in my kitchen and dining room. Hurray! I am thrilled, excited, happy as a clam (as I should be since I now live underwater)!

I will give you all the scoop later complete with pictures, videos, tales of woe, tales of "Are you serious?" (referring to, for example, the use of pool water as water in our apartment that was suggested by the manager), wet soggy anything cloth in our apartment, and so much more!

I know you are excited.

Now, how to get rid of this curse?

Water, water everywhere

Last night it was 10 degrees. Our neighbors-who are not home-had a pipe burst. We had to tell the office, as it was flooding everywhere. So, they turned off the water to our building. No one has been out to check it. No one is worked on it all day. I think I am destined to be waterless at this time of year. Last year, no water and busted pipes kept us out of our house for over a month. Seriously! What the hell is up with my water kharma? Ugh!

This story could be way more exciting

Ah, the weather here is cold. It is cold as hell. I am not digging it. Luckily, I got no where to go tomorrow. So, it ain't so bad. Yesterday, however, it was not so fun.

I got out to my truck, took off, and it died. I turned it back on, took off, got to the stop sign. Stopped. Started to take off, and it died. And it was dead. Dead dead. Nothing was working. No hazards, no key buzz, no nothing. The damn cold weather had zapped the battery.

The shitty part about it was that I was in the middle of turning left into a lane, it was 7am, and I was leaving work. So, not only was it cold, but I was exhausted. That, and I was blocking all kinds of traffic.

Luckily, my friend David came to my rescue. He jumped me off, I took off, and that bitch died again. We jumped it again. Nothing! Not a damn thing. So, off to Auto Zone we go. Luckily, they had a battery, and David hooked it up for me.

So, I got to go home. I was nervous the whole way thinking the car would die. But it didn't.

There was a really cool thing. I was part of the traffic report! Isn't that cool? Yes it is! And luckily everything turned out okay.

Well, this is a truly boring story. For some reason, I put no fun or excitment into it. It was very eventful, though. Take it from me. And, man, was I cold!

Okay, that's the boring ass story for the day. Ain't it great? I had a camera and a phone. Had I remembered, I would have taken a picture. I am not super cool because I totally didn't. But, alas, at least I got a battery.

Granny Laura needs some tunage!

You know what I realized today? I realized that I haven't been to a show (or concert, if you will) in a really long time. I live in the live music capital of the world, and the last show I went to was in July! What kind of nonsense is that? I totally enjoy going to see live music. I am all up in the mix with a musician! So, why in the hell have I not gone out to see some dandy live tunes in so long?

Well, maybe it is because no one I like is ever playing. Well, sometimes they are. I realized the other day that I haven't liked any new music in a super long time. I don't know if it because I am getting old or just not cool in any way. But, it sucks. I need to get out there an listen to new music. I mean, sure I have listened to new music. But, it is always someone I already like...Beck, Wilco, whoever. But, nothing really new. The last "new" band I totally got into was MGMT. They are awesome. That was two years ago, though. I am so behind the times. It is no wonder I am not keeping up with the cool kid hipsterness that is the Austin, TX.

So, what is one to do? Listen to the radio? I do that. They play all crap. Believe me, I listen to the radio. Our vehicle has only a radio. No CD, not even a tape player! Nothing. Just radio. So, I get to hear what all the kids are listening to today. Sure, I like the Lady GaGa. But, I can't stand the "alternative" station. The rest of them just play Jonas Brothers/Carry Underwood death crap. I am not too into the whole pop thing. I listen to the hip hop station because mostly it is fun. But, I generally stick to oldies and classic rock (because we all need to hear Money by Pink Floyd 22304982390482392 times a day).

So, what's a girl to do. I don't want to just wrap it up and be old, talking about kids today and their music. And I am bored senseless with the same old shit I have been listening to for what seems like years.

I need suggestions! I need something! I feel like such old lady. And that ain't happening to me yet. Fat, sure. Cranky, sure. Old, no! Well, maybe a little old. But not old enough not to like decent music!

Okay, enough. I sure do love to bitch! But, then again, who doesn't.

If Flava Flav Were Here, This Would be More Interesting

Well, after four wonderful days off, I am at work again. You think I would be well-rested and raring to go. Well, I walked in, and blah. Back to blah. I must say having four days off in a row absolutely rules! But, then you have to go back to work. Oh, why am I not rich or at least have a trust fund? Well, that would be because my parents have $.03. So, I guess I will have to keep having a job!

In the past couple of days, I have done absolutely nothing. So, I am guessing there isn't much exciting to talk about. Jody did give me a fabulous massage last night. Sometimes, he just does super awesome things like that for me. I highly recommend loving up on a massage therapist. It sure makes for random relaxation!

We went to the grocery store. That's fancy! And Target. Well, I went to Target. I went to both the ritzy HEB and Target. You know, we moved from Crack Land to Cracker Land. I am not really sure which is worse. I am not the biggest fan of having a pimp beat his bottom bitch in my front yard, but I am also not a fan of a soccer mom half telling me off because she doesn't want to move her buggy that is parked sideways in the middle of the tampon aisle. Actually, when you say politely (and I am polite. Believe me. My mother would beat me if I weren't), "Do you mind if I move this over a bit?" and the answer is, "Don't touch my cart. Can't you go the other way?" is the answer, it takes all you can to not bust a snotty bitch in the eye. But, I didn't. I went the other way. I should have stolen her purse! It was just sitting there.

But, I digress.

Nothing at all is going on. I have no new opinions on anything. Imagine that. That's new.

Oh, I do have a doctor appointment tomorrow to do a check up on my new asthma medication because imagine this...I have asthma! Who knew? Not me. Not anyone! Isn't that nuts. What I thought was an allergic reaction that just would not go away turns out to be asthma. That sucks, but what is good is this...I am getting treated for it. Who knew I couldn't really breathe? Not me. I thought I breathed just fine except for when the allergies got me. But, alas, that was not so. Now I am breathing like a champ. I didn't realize my lungs sucked. But, they do. So, yeah for modern technology and health insurance!

In other news, I am obsessed with The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Teen Mom. Oh, they are so good. I am not sure what my obsession with teenage pregnancy is. Maybe it was growing up in Channelview where 7 out of 10 girls were teenage mothers. (It super odd to see them on Facebook with these older teenage kids. It makes me feel old and young at the same time because I haven't even started yet, but here are my classmates with their kids going to prom!!) But, for some reason I love these shows. I just want to call these girls and let them know that there is way more life to live before kids. But, I can't. And some would say I am missing out on that aspect. But, I certainly would not have wanted to find out as a teenager. Lord, I was so stupid! I can't imagine being responsible for a person. Hell, I am stupid now. That's why I haven't started. That, and I can't figure out how the hell I would afford one.

Anyway, I am obsessed with these shows! I love them. I want to watch them all the time. In fact, I watched the whole last season of TSLOTAM (how cool am I) in two days. Yep, I did. It's so good. Hokey and corny. And they say the word sex about 77 times an episode. But, I still love it!

Okay, enough of this pointless blog. LF out!

Avatar!

What a big, stinky pile of not good movie that was! It was so corny. It was so over done. It was just so not a good movie at all. I did like the female lead. I have no idea what her character name was. It was all kinds of pretty colors. The 3D was cool. But, it sucked ass! I didn't like it at all. It was preachy (and against itself, it seems), corny, hokey, badly acted, badly written, and too fucking long!

I don't see how anyone approved the spending of a half a billion dollars on such drivel. I can't figure out why anyone would spend that much to make any movie. Maybe to help irradicate AIDS or feed all the starving children in our country for the year. This movie was not worth that much money.

Oh, it was bad. Of course, if all you are looking for is fighting scenes and colors, than this is for you! But, if you look for more in a story than colors and fight, you might not like it either.

Not to mention the lead guy kept dropping his American accent. Ever three minutes I thought he was going to throw some shrimp on the barbie.

I didn't like it at all. Way too Passion of the Christ ish for me. Or maybe it was too much Corperate America is bad for me (wonder who paid for it). Or maybe it was that who outsider being the chosen one that I just hated. It was all so cliche and predictable. For real! It was not good! Hated it (say that like the two gay guys who reviewed movies on In Living Color whose names I can't remember at this moment).

Okay, that's that. I didn't like it.

Oh How the 2010 has Come!

That title sounds a bit pervy, huh?

Anyway, the new year is here. I had a fantastic New Year's Eve. It wasn't spent in a hugely populated area with a bunch of goony strangers. Thanks goodness! It was spent with my best friends playing Wii, playing Uno and doing Mad Libs at the same time, getting a bit happy, dancing and singing, and watching some East Side illegal fireworks. It was really a great evening! Wanna see it?




This was at the last meal of 2009. It took place at the Dan's hamburgers on Airport. Man, Dan's is damn good. I like the Fran's, but it's not Dan's. For those of you in Austin, you know the deal with those restaurants. It was a mighty tasty meal!

Then we headed over to the T and the J's for some new year's fun with Katie! We did all kinds of fun activities that involved not a whole lot of people, but a whole lot of entertainment. Well, at least for us! I laughed so hard at one point that I almost passed out. I think that might have been during the Mad-Libs while Unoing (thank you, Jody, for the fab idea!). There was an incredible illegal fireworks display right up the street. Hell yeah, for that! I mean, they were some fancy fireworks.

All in all, a great evening. Here, I will let you see!

















It was a great fucking night! For real it was. I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. And, of course, I hope everyone rang in their first meal of the new decade as fancily as we did!


Ah, the Jack in the Box! Way to start the new year!