Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Tippy Hedren, I am Not

Whilst sleeping this late morning, a bird flew into our room! We had the window open. Craziest thing I have ever seen. I didn't have my glasses on, so it scared the hell out of me. Damn thing bouncing off walls. It was like a big blur of craziness! Jody got it out. But, man, it was an exciting three minutes!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

New Bed!

Ah, a new bed is wonderful. We are breaking it in nicely! It's super high like Princess and the Pea! I love it! It's so comfy. Thank you, Mattress Firm!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

One year until Grandma Moses kicks in!

Today's my birthday. As of this very moment, I am 34 years old. Holy shit! Only one more year until I move to the next box when it comes to demographic questions. I certainly need to make the most of my last year in the second check box! After this, it is the 35 to 50 box. Oh, Lord!

It's off to a good start, I must say! It's 6 am. I've seen a show, played Beatles Rock Band, ate some stuff, got a little action (twice), and it isn't even daylight yet! Hurray!

I'll report later on the rest of my fancy day. Man, I love my birthday!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

This is not Cool!

So, I told you I was sick a little bit ago, right? Well, it seems that getting sick twice in two weeks is the newest thing the kids are doing. And, heaven forbid I not get in on the action.

Had to go to the after hours emergency clinic today. Thank goodness for insurance. I don't do this lightly because I am not that kind of person. I am the suck it up kind of person. But, when I woke up with the pink eye, I had just had enough.

So, here are the results:

Infections in both ears (yep, they are about to blow out of my head)
Sinus Infection (yep, the bloody noses and death mucus told me that)
pink eye! (because I have been hanging out with hobos on the playground)
and
A hole in my eardrum! I have no idea how that happened at all. But, I have one. So, Tuesday I have to go see an ENT kind of a guy! Hurray!

Top that off with an incredible crick in my neck and shoulder, horrible ringing in my ear (at least I know why), a sore throat that is a result of two ear infections and a sinus infection, an inability to hear most anything, and a cough that was just subsiding from last time but decided to rejoin the party, and you have the happiest girl in all the land!

Sunday is my birthday. I can't tell if this is just a fluke trying to keep me from fun and excitement or if it is old age creeping in.

I'm not a good sick. So, bow your head and think of Jody right now. He has become my errand boy (or errand man). And I look like crap to boot. And he ain't getting any because I feel like this (read above and you will know how I feel).

This better end whether it be from penicillin or from a madman busting into my house with an ax and a gun. I don't care. It just has to stop.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Our Fine Language

These are words that just creepy me out for some reason.

Moist
Slacks
Belly
Dry Rub (yes, two words but still icky)

Thank you very much

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

May The Force Be With You!


The Emperor has arrived! Ilona Maeve was born this fine evening at 10:34. I haven't seen her yet, but I am assuming she is super cute! A March baby just like me. Oh, that's scary!

So, Congratulations to Kate and Paul. It is sad that they are far away, and we won't get to see little Emperor any time soon. But, I am so glad all are safe, healthy, and happy! Yay!

Monday, March 1, 2010

I'm inviting this fun gal to my party!!

This is a review on yelp today.


Sugar Tooth Bakery

Austin, TX
5 star rating
2/28/2010

BEST CUPCAKES EVERRRR!!! I just had my kid's second birthday and requested a tall order. Vegan sesame street cupcakes. Totally delivered the best cupcakes I have ever had. I will always order from her for any and all events.
Thanks Meghan!

So, just to say a few things about it...First, what kind of douche bag mother makes their 2 year old a vegan? Second, who exposes a child (and their friends) on their birthday to vegan cupcakes? Three, who says BEST CUPCAKES EVERRRRRR to a vegan cupcake? It would be THE BIGGEST DOUCHE NOZZLE EVERRRRR, that's who.

This is the reason Austin is becoming the most expensive shanty town in all the world. This douche baggery! This assholeness! This fucking stupid fucktard who has now created spawn that will go on to fund crappy shows on NPR, buy all their gear camping gear at REI...all the camping gear they need to hang out for one day in their life at the state park. This kind of annoyance to all normal humanity is the type the you see eating her cliff bar and texting while driving her Escalade with her iPod headphones in ignoring the poor, forced vegan two year old (who in a few short years will own a better car than I will ever own) in the back seat.

I really hate this type of person. And I am a vegetarian, by the way. But, why do that to a kid. You are in turn going to spread it to the other hangers on in this town.

And the worst part is because of all the wine and antidepressants, this fool will never off herself. She will just go on to spread it to her next two year old. Luckily, it will only be one more because it's so hard to find time to do the pregnancy and schedule your C-section when you have yoga and pilates classes to take in between stopping off at different farmers markets and natural food stores around town.

Thank you. Rant out.

P.S. There is no fucking way in the whole wide fucking world that a vegan cupcake is even near good. If it tastes like those nasty vegan brownies they sell at all the hipster, cool, trendy, doucheface convenience stores around town, then they are disgusting.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Soon To Be Bostonians

Or is it Bostonites? I like that better, but I am pretty sure it is Bostonians.

So, Kristy and Koley leave us next weekend to go to Boston for a year. Ugh. It is going to be an amazing opportunity. But, ugh.

In their honor, I have made an overload of salsa and guacamole for their going away party. You know how much someone loves you in this state by the amount of guacamole in you make them. I made them lots.

So, this will be 4 down! Damn, adulthood and all it's moving aboutness. We are a shrinking crew, we are (even though sects are growing. Kate is due March 5!). But, alas, 'tis life, I guess.

Boston. Home of beans. And soon of Kristy and Koley. We shall miss them. But, luckily, our cross country road trips are getting cheaper and cheaper. I mean, who needs a hotel when you get to hunker down on a couch for free!

But, in their honor, once again, I shall say it....Ugh!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's Snowing!

Holy Cow. It is snowing right here in our very own little Austin. That never happens. Really it doesn't! There might be raging blizzards surrounding us. Here, it is just chilly. But, it's snowing. Wanna see?










Now, be wary that the remainder of my death lung is apparent in this video. I had no idea I have been sitting around sounding like an 80 year old smoker's emphysemaed lung. But, I do. No wonder people have been asking if I am alright.

Who cares! Snow!







Okay, I can't figure video thing. But, here are some pictures. You know how I like my pictures!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dying and Death and Lungs

Apparently I shouldn't have made bread. Just a few short hours later I was dying with a horrible death lung disease. After 3 days of hardcore fever, coughing, and misery I am back around. Well, I am at work. Can't say I am back around. I have been vaccinated against the flu flu and the pig flu. So, who knows what the hell happened. All I know is it sucked.

Once I return to normal human life, I shall write again. Until then. May the cough be with you!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bread

I just attempted to make bread. It was the first time. I completed said task. This is what it looks like-->

Now, I did this all by hand. I have no food processor, so I got to knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it. Then I let it rise. I think the yeast might have been a little half old/ half working. So, it didn't rise a ton. Of course, I only let it rise-rise for an hour and a half. It came out alright, though. Not great. Alright.

It came out super dense. Seems thatif you knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it and knead it...well, that is not enough. You really gotta do it for like 10 minutes. I did it for about six. My arms got tired. And, I used a tad bit too much flour. It kinda tastes floury. (My recipe book warned me about that. Did I listen? Of course not!) But I did it! No bread pan. Just baked it on a cookie sheet. I am pretty excited!

So, I put a little butter on it. Not bad. Throw some garlic powder on it, and it tasted even better.

All in all, this was a fun project. I am trying it again! For I shall be the greatest baker in all the land! Or, I will not be. Probably that one. But, it was fun!

So, next time I will use less flour, more kneading, and better yeast.