He's Not Nearly Gardening This Weekend....

In honor of The Nearly Constant Gardner, I give you the garden he is neglecting because he keeps going on vacation.  As a true friend, I will use my blog to keep up with his.  I want to state that I am not jealous in any way.  I can't be.  I could be on this vacation.  For those who don't know, paying for a wedding sure does take a toll on you budget.  Next Year Vacation with Friends, here we come!

Chester, You're a Bastard!

Cheetos are the devil.  I swear, they will be my undoing.  Why do I love them so?  I mean, they are one of the reasons my rear end is so large.  .

I hate you, Cheetos.  I hate you.  But, I love you so!  I have to go away from you for a while.  See, I have this dress I have to fit into in September.  So, you Cheetos, will have to go live with your Great Uncle Funyun in that Great Balloon Farm in the sky.

And, I won't miss you too  much.  I won't.  Sometimes I forget about you altogether for a time.  Then you come back.  You're all skewed and orange and whistling a fancy tune.  That's just the way you are.  Sometimes you are puffed.  Sometimes you are balled.  Sometimes you are zingy hot.  You are always a delicious treat.

But, alas, good Cheetos, you are no longer for me.  You will have to be satisfied with living in the mouth of Britney Spears.  And, you will be happy there.  You won't show up as well on the gut, but you will live in luxury.  And, when we meet again, we will have an amazing reunion.  You will be missed.  Not by my thighs, my metabolism, my heart, my liver, or my kidneys.  But, you will be missed.

Texas Has a Pie Party in It!

Long time no write.  It was one heck of a weekend.  So, I didn't get around to it.

Glad I skipped the makeup!  Pretty!

This weekend was Kristy and Koley's annual Cinco de Pie-O celebration.  It is when we all get together with our pies and eat them.  There are all kinds of delicious pies to nibble on.  Here is Jody and my pie. It's a crawfish pie that is so dang good.  Other than some chopping of vegetables, I didn't do a dang thing.  Jody did all of the work.  But, then again, he usually does.  He's quite the cook, my Jody is.  Thank goodness, because I am fond of food (as this picture shows).

This is just a small sampling!

There was a smorgasbord of pies.  I mean, there were a lot. I am thinking there must have been about 25 or so.  Of course, I didn't get to eat all of them.  And, I do have that hatred of hot and cooked fruit.  So, I skipped all of those.  But, there were all kinds of delicious pies!

Now, not only were there pies, but there was also a pinata.  No party at Kristy and Koley's is complete without a pinata.  In fact, I have realized that my people love pinatas.  I have beat the hell out of more pinatas in my adult life than I ever hit as a kid.  I don't know if that is strange or not, but I do think that I get more enjoyment out of them as an adult than as a kid.

They could be talking Hobbits.

There are a number of pictures to this pinata awesomeness on my favorite drunk gardener's Google + page.  Please go look. Of course, I am partial to this pinata participant, as I find him incredibly cute and totally worthy of lifelong love.  And, of course, Koley made sure to twist us up quite a bit.  He's good at that.  He does the four spins one way and the half spin the other.  You wouldn't think that would make you want to vomit, but after a lot of pie and a bit of alcohol, it does just that.

Cinco de Pie-O was pretty good times.  Lots of literary talk, lots of food, and an amazing rendetion of "Little Bitty Pissant Country Place" from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas sung by none other than Michael,  Drunk Gardner, and I.  Oh, it was fabulous and only ran 4 people out of the backyard.  I blame humidity.  However, I am pretty sure it was us.

All in all, a fab weekend.  Well, Sunday was a bit of a bust due to this amazing case of stomach bug that got me.  Luckily, I only had one fun think planned that day.  I had to miss it (boo). I blame the Koley spin!

And, how was your weekend?

So, You Wanna Be a Writer...

Beware the wrath of a copy editor.  Halfway through paragraph four and I have already murdered it.  But, I will make you look like the greatest writer of all time.  At least, I will try.

The red?  That's all me.  All that red to the side?  That's me commenting.  I'm just trying to make you look good, I swear.  

But, I gotta tell you, I love it.  I love ever single minute of it.  Man, grammar is fun.  And, I hope to fuck that I didn't mess mine up in this very short blog.  Bet I did.