It's Not that I Can't Read...

So, as one will do after years of forced (albeit mostly enjoyable) reading and writing, I took a break of reading and writing.  Well, not completely.  You can see from my blog that I lost the writing thing.  I didn't completely lose the reading thing, but I did do it as sparingly as my writing.

Having grown up a voracious reader, this was shocking to me.  From the age of about four until I was 33, I was always reading a book.  All the time.  I always had a book going.  I'm generally a book snob, so often it was Steinbeck or Hemingway or Flannery O'Conner or McCarthy or Palahnuik or some such artsy fartsy character study.  But, I did delve into the fabulous world of true crime, Steven King, and most anything V.C. Andrews because I am human and a female.  I have read most rock bios and those of Hollywood's leading ladies up through about Natalie Wood.  I reread my favorites and found new ones to love.

Then it stopped.  After years of undergrad and grad school (in which my degree is reading and writing based), I just lost reading.  Lost it.  Sure, I've read a few books in the last few years, but it is just that.  A few.  I think it may be three. One was I am Not Myself These Days. One was the novelization of the movie Urban Cowboy.  And, one of those was Fifty Shades of Grey that turned out to be just as stupid and pathetic and unsexy and anger inducing (not because it was overly sexed but because that girl was the worst sub ever and had no right to be such an asshole about it the whole flipping book since she knew what she was getting into although they never really got into it at all and had boring sex the whole book until he spanked her and she left him just proving that women are pretty absurd and often times too bossy and bitchy for anyone to actually like) as I thought it would be.  By the way, don't bother with it.  It's soap opera porn for bored moms.

Anyway, this lack of my ability to get interested in a book started bothering me.  I've revisited my favorites: East of Eden, And I Don't Want to Live this Life, Lolita, The Shining.  I've tried.  I got part way through each of them and quit. I started other books and never finished.  I have a Eudora Welty, a Wally Lamb, a biography of Keith Moon, a book about being a drummer in a band, the Bob Mould biography, and a Christopher Moore book all going.  I've not finished a one and none of them are even in anywhere I can find them.

So, I've been worried about and bothered by this for a while now.  Like really bothered.  I'm a reader.  I'm a writer (mostly meaning I write things.  I am not so brave or sure of myself to call myself an actual writer). This has always kinda been my thing.  So, it has bothered me.  I've tried to force myself to read, but it hasn't worked.  I even have a Kindle (which is the coolest thing I own, and I love it so much!), so I've downloaded books.  And, nothing.

Then something happened.  My dad and step-mom came to visit a couple of weeks ago and brought an old box of books I left in their attic when I was a teenager.  In it was a book-the book- that seems to have broken my not wanting to read spell.  When I picked it up, I knew. I knew that was the book that would do it, and I took to reading it that night.  It wasn't a quick a read as I suspected it would be, but it was the book. I'm actually now rereading it just because I enjoyed it the first time.  I'd read it before some years ago, and I am so glad I packed it away in a box for me later to rediscover, devour, and enjoy.   The book, you ask?

For real.  Thank you, Judy Blume!

The Rule of Judy and Phil

Now, you may or may not know a lot about me. If you have taken the time to read this entire goofy blog, you may know more than most.  Of course, you could actually know me in real life.  If you do, than you probably do know me more than most.  Or not.  I mean, I know the person who delivers Milano's to our house, but I don't think they know me very well.

Anyway, that being said, there is one thing that most people don't know about me.  I live by what I call "The Rule of Judge Judy and Dr. Phil."  Lots of things happen in life.  Everyday you have to make decisions

whether they big or small, life changing or just what you want for lunch.  Almost all we do is make decisions.  And, when it comes to me making decisions, before I pick the direction of which I should go, I stop and think...If I had to explain this to Judge Judy or Dr. Phil, would they call me an idiot?  Based on if they would, I make my decision.

I have been doing this for some 10 years now, and it has yet to steer me wrong. I deployed it some years ago (and for a lengthy stretch of time) when the hubbie's ex-wife would call or email me ranting like a loon. Yes, I wanted to tell that cuckoo bird off.  I mean, who wouldn't.  But, did I?  No.  In fact, because I know both JJ and DP would frown on it, I didn't speak with her or respond with her in any way.  At all.  Never.  Not one time.  I figure if I ever had to stand in front of either of those people, they would say I was right in doing that.

I have done it when deciding what to do with money.  Listen up, People.  You know what I did?  I bought a car from one of my best friends!  On a payment plan!  And, guess what?  Judge Judy was right there with me when I made sure to pay him on time every month until it was paid off.  You never mix friendship with business or money.  Yes, good advice.  But, when you follow the rule of Judy and Phil, you can do it!

I really do believe that more people should use this rule.  Of course, the real name of the rule is common sense.  But, since most people don't like to use that, I think they should really think about using "The Rule of Judge Judy and Dr. Phil."  You'd be surprised at the messes it keeps you out of.