What the hell is going on with Myspace (besides the fact that everyone has left it)?

In the past few days, I have gotten a lot of messages on myspace. They are all weird! Very exciting, but weird.

1. From:
Veronica Torres

Hello, my name is Veronica and I was wondering if you could help me with something. I am a dominatrix and I am searching for women that would be willing to dominate me male slave. He would be there for your enjoyment and pleasure for you to use.

You can have him worship your feet or be more extreme that is up to you (I can give you more ideas too). I am training him to learn that all women are superior and that he will serve who I tell him.

If you are interested please write me back and we can discuss it more and maybe set something up.

Mistress

Not a bad option! In fact, this might be fun. And seeing as I have been employeed for a couple of years of my life in jobs that did cause me to act as a dominatrix, this should be right up my alley. But, I wonder why I got this? Odd! Of course, I have a fairly decent job, and go to school. I just don't have the time. So, I think I will pass on Mistress' offer.

2. Worst Dates
myspace.com/gnyceness

author
Body:
Hi, My co-author Emily and I (Greg) are working on a book project about horrible dates for women dealing with men. It's a collection of real life stories. Some guys can be weird, clueless, stupid and pure jerks. We are hoping you would share one of your really bad dates with us? Give us the funny, sad, awful and(or) lessons learned. We like details and we dont care if its offensive. Also worst comments and pick-up lines are welcome too. Thank you for reading this and take care.


Well, I guess this isn't so abnormal, but since my status is "In a Relationship," I can't figure out why they sent it. Did someone just sign me up for a men suck club or something? And how did they find me? And who the hell wants to read a book about horrible dates for women dealing with me? I prefer to get my stories about bad dates in tiny paragraph snippets in Glamour or Cosmo. Seriously? I hate to tell the guy that this ain't gonna sell. And why does he hate his gender so? I guess Emily up there is egging him on. Another odd email!

3. christian

christian williams

myspace.com/444283186

Body:
Hello Boo
Wow I am here looking at your profile......Ussshhh God when I saw your profile, I must say I was really captivated and absorbed, My heart stumbled for you , My eyes are on you I have never seen a woman That look so captivating, enchanting, charming, gorgeous, sweet in my life before .You are the most sweetest woman I have ever seen in my life, I am looking for a partner in life and I want someone That will be there for each other both in bad and in good times, I think you are the woman I really need, desire my life, its good to have feelings for someone like you because I know you must be open minded, honesty, caring,loving, I really pray now that you will be the one for me, I will never look at any other woman eyes again in my life I will take you as My Queen and My soul mate forever I want you to know I really need a woman and looking at your eyes... makes my heart skip a bit and My soul is dieing of your love, I would like to know you better, You Can you e-mail me to christianwilliams26@yahoo.com cause i do not come here much, Or Im (Instant Message) on Yahoo Messenger,let chat and know each other better, I pray you get back to me, I Can’t wait to know a Queen like you. I am here waiting to hear from you. Bye for now boo

Christian.

Well, I guess being someone's boo before you even meet them should be flattering. However, when it is from some sort of Bot, I am not so sure. But, that's beside the point. Isn't this creepy? What computer hacker/phisher, never getting laid, dorkwad thinks this is going to work? I may not be the prettiest or thinnest leaf on the lady tree, but even me as a single gal wouldn't fall for this. Come on! If you look at the picture, the guy is gorgeous. Yes, he has horrible grammar and is truly searching for a Queen (what's with the capital Q?), but he's pretty. So, I am sure he would want the likes of me. What's awesome is he doesn't have any myspace friends. This is as see-through as a Nigerian Prince needing my help with his millions! Odd!

What a bunch of Schmohawks.

Enough for now. Later