People buy the strangest things

So, I am in line at HEB this afternoon picking up some Sudafed, Niquil, and the like for my Jody because he has the flu (always a fun thing to have when you are staying in a hotel. At least he has cable there unlike at our house). Anyway, I was standing in the 10 item or less line with my four items. I was three back.

Lady 1 - 43 items. I didn't count (although I tried). I just noticed the number of items on the register screen thing. Yeah, that's a lot more than 10.

Lady 2 - 17 items. Not 43, but yet again, not 10!!! Three of these items where picked up at the register. You know you need three purple baby bottles filled with sugar candy. That's always good. But, still, even before that, 10 items!

Lady 3 - 11 items. Not bad, but not 10!

Lady 4 (Moi) - 4 items! Amazing. I can count all the way to 10! I follow the rules of common courtesy set forth by the great grocery store gods to keep order and peace between those stocking up and those running in. I am a good American because of it.

But all of this was trumped by Lady 5. Oh, Lady 5, how I wish I knew what in the hell you are going to do with your purchases. Below you will find pictures of them, just as I saw them (God, I wish I would have had my camera. Damn it, I had my phone!) Here is what I saw after I put down that spacer bar thing....











(Yes, that is three bags of grated cheese. Now, mind you it was HEB brand, not the fancy kind. I take no mind to that because I buy the HEB brand)

And the topper because what goes better than a baby doll in a car seat with an outfit and three bags of grated cheese?




Yes, I giant hog's head! It was just staring at me. I made eye contact with it! Do you know how disturbing it is to make eye contact with a hog's head that is sitting beside a baby doll in a car seat and a shitload of grated cheese on a grocery store conveyor belt? If you don't, it is quite disturbing. Quite. But also, it is hilarious. Very! And if you know me at all, you will know that I can't help but laugh. I didn't want to be rude, so I just laughed to myself. I think it looked like I was having a convulsion because the Lady 5 gave me a nervous look (kinda like this big fat lady is about to fall over on me).

Now, being as I am from Texas (and spent half my youth at Jerry's house), I know what this big old pig head is going to be for. And, I know it is going to be yummy (albeit gross before preperation). But, still. That sight was one that I won't forget for quite some time.

You know, I never saw this kind of thing when I lived in Hyde Park. I didn't realize how much I missed living outside of Whiteyland (where they were worse with the over number of items because they all felt like they were so special and above rules). Can I get a Amen for ghetto living!