A Toe is a Many Splendored Thing

So, my first real blog back is not going to be about me so much as it is going to be about my dear, sweet husband.  Not only is he the greatest person I've ever met, but he also has toe luck like no one I have ever met.  If there is something near his foot, he will stub it.  If something is going to fall of the table, it will land on his foot.  There is nothing those poor baby toes of his haven't experienced...until last night.  Last night he experienced toe horror in ways I have never seen.

So, here's my sweet Babboo.  He's giving the old thumbs up.  He's smiling.  He's going to hate this picture because it makes him look much wider than he actually is.  But, he's got a good outlook. He's also laying in a stretcher in a hallway at the ER.

I'm here for physical not mental issues.  I promise.

So, what is holy toe brought us here?  What in the world of pain has landed us in the ER on a Friday night?

THIS!

Well, that doesn't look too bad.

So, it seems Hubby Extraordinaire was all about being a great guy last night.  We had eaten dinner and were having an early evening because we both had to be up this morning by 5.  So, we had dinner, and were sitting on the couch watching TV when he decides that he will make us some cocoa.  Since it was a very cool night (finally!), he thought we should snuggle up and drink some cocoa.

Off to the kitchen he goes.  He starts heating milk in a saucepan.  Then I hear it.  A thunk, a glass breaking and a holler.  And, it wasn't like a regular old glass breaking, it was more like GLASS BREAKING.  

I jumped up, and there hopping in the kitchen was my poor baby hopping around and bleeding profusely among an formerly unopened jar of pickles.  Blood and brine was flowing all over the place.  And, something was hanging off.  

We got him into the bathroom (albeit a bit difficult in his bare feet with a kitchen covered in glass), and there was his poor middle toe.  At first we both thought the end was cut off.  Luckily, we were wrong.  It was the nail being torn off and hanging by a thread.  It was cut and bleeding and yuck!  He himself was trying not to vomit and was quite grey.  His eyes, normally a glowing Prince Charming blue, had gone clear and seawater green which is usually reserved for HEADACHES.  So, I knew it was bad.  This toe wasn't looking good.  There was no amount of peroxide and generic Band-aids that could have fixed it in our house.  So, we opted for the ER.  Oh, and there was that profuse bleeding.  See up there?  See how he's bleeding through that entire roll of gauze on his foot?  Yep, I couldn't fix that.

So, we loaded up, stopped and got gas (by the way, I feel really bad because I was way too lazy earlier to get gas.  I should have gotten gas. I feel so bad about that.)  Anyway, off we went to the ER.  And, good thing we did because it was so much worse than I though.  I don't know how much less worse Jody thought it was because he was feeling it, and I was just staring at it.  But, it was bad.  Two hours in-after waiting for though a gun shot to the abdomen, a heart attack, a lady in labor, a lady in labor having a heart attack, a little girl with a broken arm, and a bad case of the asthma (which all deserved immediate treatment)-we found out that not only had he cut that damn roast beef eater to hell, but he had (as the doctor put it) pulverized the bone at the end of his toe.  We saw the x-rays.  There is just nothing there.  And, to top it off, he lost the nail, got 8 stitches (which is a lot in a toe), and may lose the end of his toe.  Also, the nail will probably not grow back.  So, when my man hurts his toe, he hurts his toe.  All good things for a drummer who has to walk a lot at his day job.  

Oh, I feel so bad for him.  You wanna feel bad for him, too?  I will post some fancy pictures of his poor middle toe.  They're gross.  They're hard to look at.  I was lucky enough to get used to it and got to see the whole ordeal in action!  But, oh my poor, poor Sweet Pea!  Oh, and the best part is that since it is an open fracture, it's prone to infection.  Guess who's allergic to penicillin?  And guess what happens when you pulverize a bone in your foot.  It hurts.  Guess who's allergic to codeine, a component of almost all pain killers?  You guessed it!  Poor, Gimpy himself.  I love that man, and I feel so bad for him.  

Wanna see it?  Wanna see the real it?  The toe in all it's glory?  I'll show ya.  I will!  Scroll down.  I'll give you a chance not to vomit if you don't want to.  So, I'll put them way at the bottom.  Well, if it let's me post like that.  I'm not so great with these fancy writing interwebs appliprograms.  So, it may just pop up right below these words.

Yay, it didn't.  

This is the cleaned up toe just before we got to see it in real life action! Please note on the big toe is the final growing out of blackened toenail when he dropped a laptop on his toe last year.  One door closes, and the damn window opens, I guess.

Yes!  This mutant thing is Jody's toe.  You see why we thought it was cut off.

And, the poor thing never got to drink his cocoa or eat a pickle!  Dang, that's some bad luck.