Hamburger!

So, I have had a bit of a life changing week.  Not changing in a way that makes traffic stop or causes one to stop walking or win an Academy Award or anything.  But, it is changing for me. Let me take you back a bit.

Don't like carrots?  Don't read this book!

In 2004, I read a book to prove to someone that reading this book would not cause me to go vegetarian.  The book is Fast Food Nation.  I in no way thought this book was going to do a dang thing to me.  Well, I was wrong.  Before the book was finished, I was a vegetarian.

Now, I know what you are thinking.  And, no, it isn't about the animals.  I could give a fuck about the animals.  Wait, I take that back.  Some things you see are awful.  But, that wasn't the reason for my sealing  my mouth to the sweet flesh of butchered kind.  It was all about the workers rights.

Now, at the time I was on a HUGE boycotting kick.  I was super political, so boycotting things was right up my alley.  There was the Taco Bell tomato farmer slave brouhaha, so I was boycotting them (which I did until about 2 years ago when little money, a huge amount of laziness making me not want to go to the grocery store, and a hankering for a bean burrito* got the best of me.).  There were others.  Coors (which was easy since beer is yucky), McDonalds (again, that didn't last forever.  It's the fries!  They are so good!).  There were all kinds of them.  All kinds.

Okay, the veggie part came later.

Then on top of all this was an incident with my father who worked for a major chicken operation.  In my opinion, they did him wrong, as well as, all the other people doing his job.  So, that combined with reading Fast Food Nation made me decide that I would boycott the meat industry.

Vegetarian Laura was born! --------------------}

Now, I stayed a strict vegetarian for a couple of years.  On occasion I would eat fish if I really needed something "meaty" to bite into.  I know that sounds weird, but someone might know what I mean.  However, about 5 years ago, I decided to just be a pescetarian.  I mean, do you know how hard it is to find food other than side dishes at restaurants?  And, I eat out a whole lot.  So, it was easier that way.  Then I met Jody the most fabulous cook in all the land.  And, he can do some things with seafood!  So, even though I felt like a fraud, I did eat seafood.  (And, I am a gulf coast girl.  I mean, it's in my blood.  And, there's sushi.)

I'ma eat this sandwich!

Fast forward a bit more, and what do you have?  Me engaged and planning to honeymoon in New Orleans. There are so many places in the area that I wanted to eat at.  Hell, it is a major culinary destination!  There's Creole food and Cajun food (which I know is not a New Orleans thing, but it is there.).  There's Central Grocery muffalettas and the Scotch House fried chicken.  Sure Cafe Du Monde is vegetarian, but I didn't want to spend my honeymoon eating mac and cheese or side salads because all other vegetables are made with bacon and all other salads are covered in some sort of meat thing.

So, I decided to start eating meat again.  And, I have.  It started out with just one meat thing that wasn't even supposed to happen.  But it did.

You see, I was going to start training my body to eat meat again.  If you haven't had meat in a while, it will tear you up.  Just ask my butt after one disastrous meal with chicken broth all up in that bitch.. But, I felt super guilty.  Super guilty.  So, then I decided not to do it.

I gnawed a cow and loved it.

All that was changed with a trip to P. Terry's (which I harbor no ill will towards because they are so freaking good, cheaper than any other fast food,  have one of the better veggie burgers I have ever had, and cheese comes standard!!!)

So, we go to P. Terry's.  I get the veggie burger combo.  It says veggie burger combo on the receipt.  It is wrapped with a sticker that says veggie.  And, it is P. Terry's.  In all these years, I have never had any kind of order mishap.  Why would that happen now?  Well, it did.  As I am munching on my "veggie" burger, I am thinking to myself that it is the best veggie burger I have ever had.  I even say it out loud.  In doing so, I looked down and realize that it is meat!  MEAT!  I am eating a hamburger!  Holy shit.  And, the fucking thing was so good!  So, I finished it.  It was, so good, that I almost wrestled the remainder of Jody's out of his hand to eat that, too.  I didn't.  I'm a decent human being.

Go to Pho Van immediately.  But, I closes at 9.

Anyway, that was a little over a week ago.  And, I have gone all kinds of meat crazy.  I have had some vegetarian meals because there are a lot of things I do actually love.  I won't give up potato, egg, and cheese breakfast tacos.  You can't perfect that.  I still do my spaghetti with no meat because I like it a bit light.  And the #32 from Pho Van (a tofu vermicelli bowl or bun if you are all uppity) is my favorite meal on Earth.  I will never mess with a #32.  Never!

But, good lord, I didn't realize how much I have missed.  I forgot how good chicken was.  Chicken is freaking good.  And steak!  I didn't think I liked it all that much.  I do.  But, the most wonderful thing of all, the thing I didn't know I missed, is a hamburger.  I honestly want to just eat hamburgers from here on out.  Oh lord!

Now, I  must say that I feel a bit guilty, yes.  But, I will get over it.  And, I am not saying I am not going to go back to being a grazer.  But for a bit, I am going to gnaw on some meat.  I mean, it wasn't like my vegetarian lifestyle was keeping me in fighting shape.  I mean, if I was fighting an ox, maybe.  Potato chips, mac and cheese, and all kinds of pizza are vegetarian.  So, you can be big and fat and meat free.  And, a couple of days after the first meat down, I felt more energetic.  I kind think maybe I was missing a vitamin (which I am sure has nothing to do with my healthy lifestyle).

So, we are going with it for a while.  At least through my honeymoon.  Then I might go back or I might not.  I have no idea.  I do feel a bit like a traitor.  To whom or what I do not know.  All I know is that I mentioned pizza above, and I have yet to try pepperoni to remember what it tastes like.  Sounds like a good time for that!  And more hamburgers!

*When Taco Bell (and everyone else in the world) had to get rid of trans fat, it made their beans vegetarian!  Yay! 

And, here's Steve Zissou just because I love him. Well, Bill Murray.  I love them both.