Don't Call Me the Wolfpack, I've Been Here for Years

What up, Party People?  As you can tell from my exciting opening there, I am having a super, awesome, fun-filled Saturday night!  Oh, wait, I'm not.  I'm at work.  Yes!  WORK!  YAHOO!  Okay, really, unless you can't read sarcasm at all, you know this is not the most thrilling thing on Earth.  It's not unthrilling. Wait, yes it is.

One thrilling thing that is going on is that I found a new awesome show!  Happy Endings! It is so funny.  Like super funny. It stars the girl that got fired from SNL for being too fat (who isn't too fat).  You know the funny one.  The one that was fat. Casey Wilson. The entire cast is pretty funny, though.  I highly recommend it (especially episode 7 if you live in a major city)! It's awesome to put on a show, love it, and then watch the entire season.  So, watch it if you are bored and haven't.  They are all on ABC.com.  Or Project Free TV.  Go watch it!  Of course, I also love Swamp People.  So, take my advice for what it is worth.  Oh, and there are no actual "happy endings" on the show.  For that, you have to go to the Megaplexxx or the "massage" place down the street.

I need a new pair of glasses.  I wish I could find a pair of really awesome, rhinestone covered cat-eye glasses.  I really want a pair.  Like super bad.

Aren't they cute?  I think I would look fabulous in them.  Of course, I have no idea if I actually would.  Would this face look okay in these glasses?  Add a tad more double chin because I look almost halfway un-double chinned in this photo.  Wait, add more triple chin. 

Just so you all know, I just sneezed 9 times in a row.  Super cool.

Anyway, I am all about getting some new glasses.  What do you thing?  Where do you even buy them?  And where do you buy them for cheap?  I live in one of the "coolest" (yes, people say that) cities in the country.  And, I can't even find them. But, I still want them.  Don't you think it would be awesome to have some!  My mom had some way back in the day.  Too bad she didn't keep them. Our eyes are about the same in horrible blindness, so I could just borrow them!

Okay, that was a wasted paragraph.  Ugh, I can type the most boring things.  This is why my fan base is 3.  And of those 3, I am one and Jody is the other.  (and the 3rd is D.G.  who I miss and wish she had a blog or facebook or something!  Do you know how much you would love the facebook games I play?  Haha).

So, before I go, I shall throw out my freebies of the last couple of days.  I am going with this segment even though it is kinda stupid.  But, I still love free stuff!  So, here they are:

A pack of Breath Right Strips - I guess I can use these when I sleep.  I can breath pretty much all the sleeping time.  And, I am not too much of a snorer.  Maybe I will slap one on Jody.  That man can snore!  It's cute.  So, I probably won't.  However, with this sneezing theme I got going on, maybe I will be stopped up and try one!

My weekly Entertainment Weekly - (just so you know, I am tired of adding links for the night.  So, the rest will be linkless.) It's got The Hangover II on the cover. I can't wait.  Part I was damn funny.  In fact, it might be the funniest movie I have ever seen.  And I like funny.  I have incredibly high standards for comedies.  That one really might top it.  Of course, I watched and loved Cabin Boy last night.  So, I might not have as great a taste as I think.

Maxim Magazine - Hey, it was free.  It isn't the best magazine.  But, it is good toilet reading (for when I take all the laxatives and fiber I get for free.).  What can I say.  And it's got some funny articles.  There is also always one really in depth article.  Also, girls in undies.  Sure, they  mostly look exactly the same, but it beats looking at decapitated heads or something.

Playboy Magazine - Oh, yes. Playboy.  For when you want straight up boobies.  The cover this week is Mick Jagger's kid.  She is surprisingly weird faced.  But, she has a nice set of cans.  I think I may be coming across as lesbiany, but again, boobs are better than decapitated heads.  Well, unless you are Jeffrey Dahmer or something.  Then you would go with the decapitated heads.  Anyway, it's free.  It's got funny jokes.  A lot of articles.  Some are even a little too well written for me.  Lord, I don't know that I need all this education and research when I am looking at someone's bleach blonde landing strip.  Just so you know, there are two!  Count them Two! centerfolds this month.  And, one of them was born in 1991!  When I was in the 9th grade.  Oh lord, I am old!

Enough of my and my randomness.  I hope all have a good day! Or night!  Or afternoon!  Or not.  I won't know.  Well, unless you tell me.  You can tell me. I  would be fine with that!

Later!