Monday, March 1, 2010

I'm inviting this fun gal to my party!!

This is a review on yelp today.


Sugar Tooth Bakery

Austin, TX
5 star rating
2/28/2010

BEST CUPCAKES EVERRRR!!! I just had my kid's second birthday and requested a tall order. Vegan sesame street cupcakes. Totally delivered the best cupcakes I have ever had. I will always order from her for any and all events.
Thanks Meghan!

So, just to say a few things about it...First, what kind of douche bag mother makes their 2 year old a vegan? Second, who exposes a child (and their friends) on their birthday to vegan cupcakes? Three, who says BEST CUPCAKES EVERRRRRR to a vegan cupcake? It would be THE BIGGEST DOUCHE NOZZLE EVERRRRR, that's who.

This is the reason Austin is becoming the most expensive shanty town in all the world. This douche baggery! This assholeness! This fucking stupid fucktard who has now created spawn that will go on to fund crappy shows on NPR, buy all their gear camping gear at REI...all the camping gear they need to hang out for one day in their life at the state park. This kind of annoyance to all normal humanity is the type the you see eating her cliff bar and texting while driving her Escalade with her iPod headphones in ignoring the poor, forced vegan two year old (who in a few short years will own a better car than I will ever own) in the back seat.

I really hate this type of person. And I am a vegetarian, by the way. But, why do that to a kid. You are in turn going to spread it to the other hangers on in this town.

And the worst part is because of all the wine and antidepressants, this fool will never off herself. She will just go on to spread it to her next two year old. Luckily, it will only be one more because it's so hard to find time to do the pregnancy and schedule your C-section when you have yoga and pilates classes to take in between stopping off at different farmers markets and natural food stores around town.

Thank you. Rant out.

P.S. There is no fucking way in the whole wide fucking world that a vegan cupcake is even near good. If it tastes like those nasty vegan brownies they sell at all the hipster, cool, trendy, doucheface convenience stores around town, then they are disgusting.

1 comment:

Weenie said...

AMEN!

I hate tree hugging, skirt wearing Vegan biatches that force that shit on their kids. Kids need fat and cheese and hot dogs and ice cream and CUP CAKES! Kids need to eat McDonald's Happy Meals and Bar-B-que and chicken fried steaks and Blue Bell ice cream and Enchiladas. Those are things that make being a Texan great. How dare that woman deny her child every yummy food on the planet because she wants to be vegan. That poor kid! Let me adopt him/her and show him/her the yumminess that exists in the NON-VEGAN world!