My boyfriend is going abroad!

He's not a broad. That's me. He is going abroad!

So, the fellow has joined another band. The Wooden Birds. He hasn't left his band band - Living Better Electrically. But, he has been given a pretty great opportunity to play percussion with a really cool band. They are the product of some of what was American Analog Set. I dig the music. One of his best buddies (who used to be in LBE) plays the guitar in the band. So, they are off for a month and a half(ish) to Europe. Oh, that lucky dog! I will miss him. I am really excited for him, and I am so proud of him! And maybe he will become a huge rock star and whisk me away to the casbah, so we can rock it!

Also, I just registered for my last semester of grad school. It freaked me out a little bit. Wow. I am really excited. But, I am also pretty clueless as to where to go from here. I wanted a Phd, but I just can't do it anymore-at least not with a full-time job. It is so hard. My undergrad was really easily doable while working full-time. It sucked, and I got no sleep. I didn't get to do a bunch of stuff. But, it was doable.

Grad school while working full-time has been killer. It really has. And I am a tough old broad. I really am. But, I am barely making it now. So, I just can't do the PhD while working full-time. I have no choice but to work full-time (how many times can I write full-time in one blog entry? Lets find out!!). The difference between grad and undergrad is so great, it is hard to explain. In most ways, I like it a lot more. No, I like it a lot more. I just wish I had more time to spend on actual school work. I feel sometimes like I am short changing myself and my education. But, I am a grown ass woman. I have to work. Even if I am not working in the field I am educated, I have to give my all to my job. Damn my work ethic! So, I am calling of the PhD (at least for now).

I am kind of sad about that realization. That was my plan. I truly don't think people expect much out of me (or expected, I should say). College wasn't not an option growing up, but I don't think my parents took college seriously for either myself or my sister. It wasn't really talked about. It was for sure that they wouldn't (or couldn't) pay for it. And it was no big thing that I didn't go. I really don't know that they thought about it one way or the other. Those years weren't so good in my household. So, I don't fault anyone. People have to think about themselves in order to deal with stuff. I did it. We all did. But, that made college an almost non option (even though I did get a scholarship in drama. I didn't take it. I very much regret that to this day).

However, it was a very big deal to me. I always felt like a loser. So, I tried it, then dropped out. Not because I was lazy (well, maybe a little. And I was 21 and moved to Austin). It was because I had to work full-time (there it is again!). And that's a lot for a dumb young kid to do. But, I went back once I got myself situated in life (or at least what I thought was situated in life). I really did feel bad about myself for not having a BA. So, I got one. Then I took about six months and realized I wanted to keep going. I don't know if it was more because I like school (I do) or just to prove that I could do it.

And now it is coming to an end. It scares me a little. I'm tired, though. Physically tired. Working long shifts at night; always being under pressure and a deadline has taken their toll. Sometimes I am just pooped out and feel like an old woman. I love school, but I realize that I would like to read a book for pleasure for once. I don't want to write anymore papers no matter how much I love it (and yes, I do love writing papers. I know that is weird and kinda stupid, but I do.). So, I think for now, I am done. Well, if this summer goes well, I am done.

Okay, I don't know if that is a downer or not. It isn't supposed to be. And, I am still excited for Jody. Him being gone will coincide with me having to do my final Masters' project which happens to be writing a book. I choose that over doing a research project because I am focused in creative writing. Hopefully, I will not procrastinate on this one, seeing as how it has to be really, really, really long. I have gotten out 25 pages in one night, but I am thinking a novel won't be so easy! So, I have something to occupy my brain while he is gone. I will still miss him. And, I will so still procrastinate! I mean, totally will! No doubt at all.

Okay, enough of that. Now for some happiness!