I Shall Become a Pioneer Woman!

Well, it is November 1st.  It is this time of year when turkeys are on the loose waiting to be eaten by modern day Pilgrims.  It is the time of year when all of the retail world decides it is time you decorate your house for a holiday two months away.  And, for me, it is time to start planning a wedding.

On September 29, 2012, I shall become Mrs. Jody Suarez.  And, in doing so, I got lots of work to do to make it happen.  Well, I guess we do.  But, you know how it is.  Women are always more involved in this kind of thing.  For one reason, it's our wedding.  Out big day.  Our fairy tale event.  Second, it is because we are bossy and want everything to be our way.  So, I am just going to take the reigns on this one. 

We are going all out DIY because we ain't gots no money!  And, what would some fancy shindig do with me at the center of it?  It would run off and cry that it got stuck with my no sock, tennis shoe wearing, half greasy haired dorkball instead of some Debutant it deserved.  We have tons of ideas and little bread, so we are gonna work it like a drag queen.  As Tim Gunn says, we are gonna "make it work."

We have the date, and we are pretty sure we know where we are going to have it.  We are probably going to go with Pioneer Town in Wimberley.  It is a great tacky little place with a lot of character and a whole lot of good memories for me as a kid and us as grownups.  It's pretty awesome.  There used to be a train and a medicine show.  But, those things seemed to have dried up.  However, it still kinda rules...and has a house made of bottles!  How awesome is that?  Here are some pictures of the place.

Isn't it great?  I am sure that it was hoards of family fun in the 60s and 70s and 80s.  Well, I know it was because that's when I first went there. It isn't so much the happening place it used to be, but that's just why I like it!  We are going next weekend to give the wedding facilities the once over.  Let's hope we love it or else we just might be eloping.

Other than that, we have nothing.  I have been perusing websites about how to do a wedding.  I think it should be doable by us.  I think.  I have no idea about food or  a dress or any of that good stuff.  But, all in due time.  And all when we get some mula!

That's a Dish of a Different of a Different Color of Mold

I need a dishwasher.  Really.  We're living like crackhead kitchen over here.  You know when you just stare at the dishes.  Just stare at them.  They are sitting there all covered in egg yolk and ketchup and dried up salad dressing and old coffee.  And you just stare.  Then try to stack one more plate on the towering dish mound.  And it works, so you don't have to do the dishes!  You can eat cereal out of a coffee cup.  It's no big deal.  It's kinda fun and whimsical.  And cool and modern.  And stupid and lazy because I just don't want to do the dishes!

Why do I think having a dishwasher would cure this?  Actually, it would cure the guilt.  I could just chunk all my dishes in there and have them out of sight.  That would help.  I wouldn't feel so cracky.  I think sometimes that we should just use paper plates and plastic silverware.  But, I can't be that awful to the environment.  I mean, I guess I can.  But, I would feel terrible.

So, I will just sit here and hope they wash themselves.  Or get up and do it.  Or just stare at Jody until he does it.  Is it okay to start pulling woman moves like that?  Nag or something?  He's got to be expecting it at some point.  Nah.  I'll wait on that until I want someone to paint the house.

I hate you dirty dishes!  I hate you!  It's not at all my lazy fault that you are there.  Not at all.  It's all on you.  And I hate you!

Saying Something About 4 Years, Yo!

Going to the Chapel...

And, I'm gonna get meh-re-rare-ied!  Yes, I am!

I'm getting married.  Mr. Jody got down on one knee and proposed to me this evening.  Well, I guess it was yesterday evening.  And, I said yes!  Well, I guess you figured that out or else I wouldn't be writing this.

I'm so excited!  Married!  Like real live people do.  I can't wait.  I'm a be Mrs. Suarez.  Ah!!  I'm so happy!

Please ignore the unpainted nails.  He caught me off guard. I was actually in my undies watching Dateline or some such nonsense.  I was looking ultra fabulous.  But, that must mean he really loves me!  I am so excited.  Just wait for all the annoying wedding blogging that will come!  Yay!

I Actually Thought Today was Monday...

Why Did End This Way?

Right this minute Jody is giving me dreadlocks whilst I am listening to "On My Own" by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald.  It's a fun night.

Cheeseballs From the Dollar Store Gave Me a Tummy Ache

Serves me right.  I shoulda passed them up.  But, dang they are good.  I wish Cheetos still made them.  Remember Cheese Balls.  I hate the ones from Mr. Peanut or whoever has that blue canister with Mr. Peanut on them.  They are greasy, gross, and make you have to go.  And, this from a fat girl.  That means they are doing something wrong because I should be their main clientele. But, the old Cheetos ones where so good!  I can remember the blue bag now...

Wow, I am trying to find a picture of them on google, and I am coming up with nothing. I didn't make these up in my head, did I?  My sister would know.  She loved the damn things.  By the way, it's Planters that makes the bad ones, not Mr. Peanut.  I mean, he is on the can, but it wasn't him personally who made the yucky balls.  Sorry, Mr. Peanut, for blaming you.  It's actually your company.

Well, now I am on the hunt for Cheetos Brand Cheese Balls.  Even Wikipedia (say it like Mosby) isn't helping me.  I swear, this product existed.  Of course, I think if I can't find it in a 8 second google search, I am wrong.  Dang this Internet fad!  You're making me doubt myself.

Okay, off to research Cheese Balls.  Balls....hahaha.

Good Lord!

I can't sleep, as per usual.  So, I am watching church on TV.  Good lord, it's boring.  And they keep misspelling the words they are typing at the bottom of the screen.  Maybe this is why I am not religious.  Bad spelling and boring speeches.  I'm going to bed.

Man, I'm a Drag!

I sure do poop out on this blog a lot, don't I?  Am I bored, boring, or lazy?  I am sure it is all three.  Well, lots has happened in a month.  I will tell you all about it at some other time.  For now, you just get a couple of pictures of my past month.  I would have more, but one such thing that happened was the loss of a laptop and my camera charger!  Hurray!

I shall bring more to the party when I get a bit more time.  But, isn't that a pretty picture right there?  Walking has been fun!

It's Lucy's Birthday, and All She is Getting is Hot

Oh, the lazy blogger.  One can never build an audience when they are too lazy to write anything.  But, alas, here I am. 

Oh, what a week.  I have spent all week on farm duty.  Well, chicken, duck, ferret, fish duty.  Don't giggle at that even though you can.  If I spelled it a different way, it would have been really funny! 

That was a lot of fun.  Except, man, it was  a lot of work out there in this death fire hot mess of a weather situation we have ourselves in.  Nope, no global warming going on.  A huge snow storm in March and a giant 4 month long drought to follow with temperatures daily of 107 degrees.  Nope, weather isn't changing for the worst.

Anyway, it was fun.  Lots of sweating, I must say.  And who knew I could wrangle a chicken like I can.  They think they are quick.  But not for this fat yet spry old Austinite!  It was pretty fun.  Even when that roach crawled up my leg when I picked up the water feeder thing.  Even though I screamed a bit, it made me feel more like a man!  And that is just what ever woman needs to feel like...a man.


I went to a couple of Jody shows.  One at Uncle Billy's Brew and Que.  So not my type of place.  It was like a mall of restaurants.  It was a huge monstrosity that can't possibly make the people who pay millions for their lake homes happy.  Good band, of course.  But, just not my cup of tea or brew.  And, it was all outside.  Now, I am not sure about any of you, but sitting outside in 106 (which it was that day) heat just ain't for me (or any of the fatties on the Earth).  But, I got a good view of a hot drummer in front of pretty empty Lake Travis.  So, there was that!

Then we went on to show number 2 of the night at Poodie's Hilltop Bar and Grill.  Different band, this time.  But, still the same drummer - mine!  Anyway, I love me some Poodie's.  It is the most comfortable, redneck, small, dark, awesome bar of all times.  Well, maybe not of all times.  But, it's pretty cool.

Also playing was James Hand. He's awesome.  He's like a movie character, but I can't think of the movie.  He's kinda like a drunk, funny Don Knotts but not as dingy and far more depressed.  Pretty awesome in my book.  I think I shall try to make it back out to see him.  Though, Poodie's is way the fuck out there.  Man, it was far!  But, I'd go back anytime!

All in all, that and work have kept me busy.  Oh, and Project Runway.  My reason for living is finally back on!  Hurray!  This season is going to be awesome!

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Lucy.  I love you.  So do many.  Thanks for being the funny lady that probably inspired a lot of my personality. I  appreciate it!  

Later

Arry Pooootttter!

I loved Harry Potter.  It made me cry.  I was so sad that it was the end.  Of course, this is America.  Things do not end here.  We run them into the ground until every single last cent can be squeezed out of it.  So, I suspect we will get a whole lot more Harry Potter at some point.  And, Yay!  Maybe.  Wait, those Star Wars things went so badly.  Nevermind.  Non-Yay!

All Alone in My Nerdness

Sometimes a Saturday night at home alone is all a girls needs to clear her head.

My Guy is Red Hot

Most fun ever!