Sunday, October 25, 2009

A cop out because I got nothing today

Young Woman and Older Woman in Light Blue Car
By Laura Ferguson

“You know, Honey, you shouldn’t wear your bathing suit as your underwear. It can give you an infection.”

“I know, Mom. How long until we get home?”

“’Bout half an hour. The same time it took to get here.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.”

She leans up and takes a magazine off the dashboard. She flips through the pages, reaches the end, and starts again from the beginning.

“Interesting magazine?”

“Yeah, Mom, I guess.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like it’s very interesting.”

“It is. I am just not in the mood to read.”

She places the magazine back on the dashboard, rolls down the window, leans back, and closes her eyes. Her hair whips around her face, but she does not brush it away. She takes a deep breath.

“You know, I really do think that boy was a good one. He treats you nice.”

“Yeah, I know, Mom.”

“No, Honey, I mean it. I really think that boy is sweet to you.”

“Yeah, Mom.”

“No, really! Now, your father –God rest his soul-wouldn’t have approved. He’s probably rolling over in his grave about this, but I don’t care. Now, I don’t like this whole mess you and that boy went and got yourselves into. You know your father would really have flipped about this. But that boy, he is a good fellow for a colored boy.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“I tell you, I have-“

“Mom, is it okay if we don’t talk for a little while. I’m really tired, and I don’t feel so great.”

“Of course. Just nap for a while.”

She reaches up and turns on the radio, takes the magazine that is blowing open off the dashboard, drops it on the floor, brushes her hair away from her face, leans back, and closes her eyes.

She can hear the woosh of the cars whipping by in the oncoming lane. Every time one does, it sends a gust of air through the car causing her hair to twirl around her face, itching her nose. But she doesn’t brush it away.

They drive on. A song comes on the radio-an upbeat number. That ends and another song-a song teenagers dance closely and slowly to-comes on. That ends and a new song comes on-another upbeat. That ends, and the local weather comes on.

“They say it is supposed to be hot all week.”

She doesn’t answer.

“Could get up into the 100s.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“You comfortable? You need one of them pills?”

“I’m okay, Mom.”

“You know, once when I was about your age, I a-“

“MOM!”

Another upbeat number started. She leans up, turns of the radio-another upbeat number, brushes the hair out of her face, kicks the magazine off her foot, leans back and closes her eyes. Again she can hear the car swoosh. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swo-

“Okay, I am going to say something here. I know you don’t want to talk, but I just have to know if I am the reason you did this.”

She didn’t answer. Swoosh, swoosh, swo-

“Cause you know-“

“You’re not the reason I did this, Mom.”

“Well, that didn’t sound very convincing. You can’t think of me as the reason you did this, Honey. I mean, I just gave you advice. That is what I am supposed to do as your mother. But overall the decision was yours.”

She doesn’t reply. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoo-

“Cause if you blame me for this, it is just going to make you hate me. I didn’t make you do this.”

She leans up, turns the radio back on, and leans back. She never opened her eyes.

Swo-

“I mean, this is something you decided for yourself. I only told you what I thought you should do. If you blame me for this, I don’t think I could live with myself. It’ll kill me. You will have to bury me up there with your father-God rest him. I mean, you are a good girl and that boy is a good boy even though he’s colored. I really like him a lot. I don’t think you believe that. But it’s true. I just had to tell you what was on my mind. I mean, you know I have to speak my mind, especially when it comes to something like this. In my day, you didn’t have many options. I mean, if I had had some options when I found out I was pr-Well, I just hope you don’t blame me for this. And you come to me cryin’, and I just had to tell you what I thought. I think that is always the best way to do it. Say what you feel. When you got advice to give, give it. That’s all I did. A bad situation all around. Just because I pointed it out doesn’t mean I’m to blame. You did what you did because you it is what you wanted to do.”

She opens her eyes, leans up, turns up the radio, kicks the magazine at her feet, leans back, turned, and looks out the window.

“Well, I guess that just means you do blame me. You think I forced you into this, don’t you? If that is how you feel, than I am just gonna sit here quiet. I’ll just let you think on this-you got your own freewill. And no one can make you do anything you don’t want. So don’t you try makin’ me feel quilty about this. I didn’t make you do anything. Now, get you hair out of your face. It has to be driving you crazy.”

She doesn’t move.

“Get your hair out of your face!”

She brushes her hair out of her face.

“There, now. Isn’t that better. I know it had to be annoying you.”

Her hair starts whipping around her face again.

“Oh, you are doing that just to get under my skin, aren’t you?”

She doesn’t answer.

They turn of the highway onto a residential street. The wooshes of the cars slows in speed and number. People are in their yards doing residential street activities. She turns, looks out the windshield, and stares ahead at the trailor park they live in.

“Now, put a smile on your face. If you get out of this car looking all in a huff people are going to ask what’s wrong. Especially that busy body Mrs. Griselda. Now, sit up straight. And for Heaven’s sake get your hair out of your face.”
They pull into the space next to their trailor. She brushes her hair out of her face, doesn’t smile, opens the door, gets out, doesn’t smile, and looks toward the lake.

He is standing there. He turns, looks at her, and waves.

She lifts her arm slightly, puts it back down at her side, doesn’t smile, turns, and goes into the house.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Going to the Chapel

And, I'm not getting married. Going to a wedding today. Leah and Maria are getting hitched (well, at least as close to hitched as they can become in our mostly backward state). I am so excited! It's a gorgeous day. I have a new outfit. And, love is in the air!

Congratulations, Leah and Maria. I am so happy for you!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I am only writing to acknowledge that I am lazy

I have been incredibly lazy in the land of the blog this month. I don't know why. I love writing. I love talking about myself. So, you would think that I would be all over this! For some reason, I am just not. Ugh, my laziness is just annoying.

What has been missed in the last couple of weeks?

Jody and I had our two year anniversary. We spent a wonderful few days in San Antonio at a fancy hotel. We lucked into being right next to the Internation Accordian Festival. Now, if you know me, you know that this makes my life. I mean, how often does one stumble upon a national accordian festival? Not often! So, that was fantastic.

We ate fancy, romantic meals. We walked the Riverwalk. We narrowly escaped the Hard Rock Cafe before being forced to order overly expensive and nonappetizing sounding food. We ate some great Mexican food. We had a ton of dirty sex. We napped. We watched cable TV (you know we don't have cable at home). We watched peacocks roam our hotel grounds. We listened to some Buckwheat Zydeco whilst drinking cheap beer, sangria, and margaritas. We had a hell of a lot of fun. See...




Sure, we aren't fancy with the pictures. All were taken from my phone. I gotta get a new camera. But, needless to say, it was a super fun weekend. It was a super fun anniversary (October 10!). And, I am in love with my goony boyfriend more than ever!

What else is going on with me? Not much. For real. Life has been pretty uneventful. This weekend Leah and Maria are getting married! I am very excited! I can't wait to see them spend all of eternity together. They have been together 7 years. So, it is about time, Ladies! Finally making honest women of each other. That should be super fun.

Then the next weekend is Kate's baby shower. My Kate is having a baby. A girl! And even though she isn't going to name it Fancy Princess Last name-Last name the way Jacob and I think she should. It is going to be a fun assed baby shower!

I am working a whole hell of a lot. It's work. Too long hours, too little money. But, what's new? I think that is a universal complaint. But, I keep on going! Hurray.

Wow, my life is fairly boring right now. I don't have anything even witty to say. What the hell is going on? I need a little inspiration. Someone needs to do something stupid, so I can rant about it.

All I can say is I am excited because tonight is Glee. I got to watch my Big Bang Theory this week. And, I am looking forward to the Project Runway.

So, wow. My life has become mundane for the month. Maybe something awesome will happen on Halloween. If not, be prepared for another fun filled blog! Someone shoot me now. Ugh!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I think she has a wiener!

I want to hate this song, but I just can't. I want to hate this girl! But, I just can't. Damn you, Lady GaGa. Why do I always like the freaks? I should be able to hate this Pop Freak Crap. But, I love it!!!! Whoa is me.

She has not a pretty face, and I am sure she is actually some sort of boy. But, I can't help it. I still like her. Damn you, girl/gay man brain!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Book is a book, of course, of course...

The other day I was driving down the freeway. On the side of the road was a book. It was open and flapping in the freeway breeze. It was a paperback. It looked like a novel. Since then, I have wondered what it is. Was it a good book? What was the title? Who threw it out? Did they mean to throw it out? Is it sad being out there on the side of 183? Has it been read? I am just so curious. That poor book.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I am a Texan, hence, I must do my part...

I have been babysitting for the sweetest kid on the face of the earth for the last couple of weeks. Let me state that until about a month ago, I have never held a baby (that honor went to the world renowned Anders). But, now I am a babysitting expert. Sure. But, it is fun.

So, in babysitting last night while The Bird's (or the babysittee) parents were working and making the music with my Jodster, I babysat. I have to say that this child may be the cutest little girl on the face of the earth. For real. I am not lying. I have never seen a baby so damned cute. And she's just smiley as hell. Damn good kid, if you ask me.

Anyway, The Bird is 10 months old today. She was born in the great state of Texas. I am sure most of you know how much people from Texas like Texas. Well, I am one of those people. I love me some Texas. And, since The Bird is a bonafide Texan with parents of Mississippi descent, I thought she might need to get to know some of her Texas heritage. Hence, we watched on of the greatest movies to ever bless the cinema...Urban Cowboy.

Now, a 10 month old doesn't much get into movies. But, it is never to early to let a true Texas girl know that she should be a Pam and not a Sissy (although most of us are-deep down inside-Sissys.

So, The Bird got a little bit of her heritage shown to her last night. Sure, we played through most of it. When a Kenny Roger's song came on, she did stop and listen to the whole thing. That was cute! She was really watching and listening intently as Sissy left Bud (who rightly deserved it!). Then she went back to chewing on the cat.

I must say that Urban Cowboy, no matter how corny and awful, is one of my favorite movies. So, to pass it on to a new and blooming Texas gal is an honor to me. Sure, country music is not my most favorite thing. But, the Urban Cowboy soundtrack surpasses the realm of country music. It is in a place all its own. I don't know what that place is. But, whatever it is, I love it.

And to leave you now, I present a set of lyrics to the world's most perfect country song by Mr. David Allen Coe (this has nothing to do with Urban Cowboy. It is just an awesome song.)...

WELL, I WAS DRUNK THE DAY MY MOM GOT OUT OF PRISON,
AND I WENT TO PICK HER UP IN THE RAIN,
BUT BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE STATION IN MY PICKUP TRUCK
SHE GOT RUN NED OVER BY A DAMNED OLD TRAIN